What's on my mind...

What's on my mind... http://abigailzsiga.com/blog.cfm Tue, 21 Jun 2011 00:25:00 GMT http://bandzoogle.com What's for Lunch? http://abigailzsiga.com/blog.cfm?feature=2207920&postid=1047603 In 2007 I went on a trip to Thailand and Cambodia with Love146 to witness the problem of child sex slavery and exploitation first hand. For the last 6 years or so I have worked closely with Love146 in their fight for the abolition of child sex slavery and trafficking. It is estimated that 2 people every minute are trafficked, many are children and many end up in the commercial sex trade, available for “rent” for little more than the cost of your lunch. During that first trip to Cambodia we visited a Love146 safe home. As the name suggests, a safe home is where children are brought who have been victims of human trafficking, where they are offered therapy specific to their trauma and are loved into being whole again. Where they are kept safe. The first child I saw in that safe home was a little 4-year-old girl who had just been brought in to the home. She was rescued from traffickers the day before on the border between Thailand and Cambodia. She was very shy and withdrawn and would hardly look at us. Her 8-year-old sister was with her. At that time my own daughters were 4 and 9. I looked at those two beautiful, scared little girls and just saw my own babies. No amount of research or knowledge on the subject prepares you for the first time you look into the eyes of a traumatized, broken child. Later that day we visited a slum in Phnom Phen, a filthy dirty old apartment block that was not even fit for animals to live in, yet was home to hundreds of displaced refugees. I won’t go into detail now about how profound that whole experience was to me except to say that as we were leaving the slum I was falling apart. I was also incredibly ashamed of my own tears. The families in that place did not need my tears nor did they need my pity, they needed action and in that moment I was questioning whether I was strong enough to do what needed to be done. I walked quickly away from my group while I tried to compose myself. As I stood there with my back to everyone I felt two little hands on either side of my waist and two skinny little arms wrap around me. I turned to see who it was and there was this little girl, probably around 6 years old, hardly dressed, barefoot and covered in dirt. As I looked down at her she looked at me with that confused look my girls get if they think I am upset and she hugged me tight and started to pat me gently. My heart shattered. To this day I cry when I think of that little girl. I cry because I am supposed to be the one offering comfort. I am supposed to be the one taking care of those in need. I’m a Mom, for goodness sake!!! I have everything. I live in an affluent country, I have opportunity, and I have the gift of choice. I have a nice home and plenty of food. Yet in that moment I was the one in need and that little girl who had nothing felt my heart break and did what she could to help me. Walking away from that girl was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. My maternal instincts were going wild. What would happen to her? Who is looking out for her? Who is keeping her safe? I’ll never know the answers to those questions. For weeks I wanted to give up everything and move my family to Cambodia so that we could be right there in the thick of things, looking after those in need. I soon realized that my impact would be far greater to stay where I was and dedicate myself through my music to raising awareness and funds so that organizations like Love146 can care for those children properly. I’m not a trained caregiver or aid worker. I’m a musician, a wife and a mother. From now on, I have pledged to donate as much money as possible through the sale of “Be Still My Soul” to the organizations that are making a difference in the lives of these shattered, broken children, starting with the one I know best; Love146. From now until the end of August 2011, for every CD of “Be Still My Soul” that is purchased, I will donate $5 to Love146. My initial goal is to raise $10,000 and we can do that by selling just 2,000 CD’s. If you already have a copy, please pass this along to everyone who you think may have a heart for this cause and please consider stopping by <a target="_new" href="http://www.love146.org">Love146.org to learn more about human trafficking, slavery and exploitation. Thank you so very much for your continuing support. With much love and gratitude, Abigail Visit <a href="./home.cfm">www.abigailzsiga.com to be a part of this life-changing campaign. <a href="http://www.love146.org">

The first child I saw in that safe home was a little 4-year-old girl who had just been brought in to the home. She was rescued from traffickers the day before on the border between Thailand and Cambodia. She was very shy and withdrawn and would hardly look at us. Her 8-year-old sister was with her. At that time my own daughters were 4 and 9. I looked at those two beautiful, scared little girls and just saw my own babies. No amount of research or knowledge on the subject prepares you for the first time you look into the eyes of a traumatized, broken child.

Later that day we visited a slum in Phnom Phen, a filthy dirty old apartment block that was not even fit for animals to live in, yet was home to hundreds of displaced refugees. I won’t go into detail now about how profound that whole experience was to me except to say that as we were leaving the slum I was falling apart. I was also incredibly ashamed of my own tears. The families in that place did not need my tears nor did they need my pity, they needed action and in that moment I was questioning whether I was strong enough to do what needed to be done. I walked quickly away from my group while I tried to compose myself. As I stood there with my back to everyone I felt two little hands on either side of my waist and two skinny little arms wrap around me. I turned to see who it was and there was this little girl, probably around 6 years old, hardly dressed, barefoot and covered in dirt. As I looked down at her she looked at me with that confused look my girls get if they think I am upset and she hugged me tight and started to pat me gently. My heart shattered. To this day I cry when I think of that little girl. I cry because I am supposed to be the one offering comfort. I am supposed to be the one taking care of those in need. I’m a Mom, for goodness sake!!! I have everything. I live in an affluent country, I have opportunity, and I have the gift of choice. I have a nice home and plenty of food. Yet in that moment I was the one in need and that little girl who had nothing felt my heart break and did what she could to help me.

Walking away from that girl was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. My maternal instincts were going wild. What would happen to her? Who is looking out for her? Who is keeping her safe? I’ll never know the answers to those questions. For weeks I wanted to give up everything and move my family to Cambodia so that we could be right there in the thick of things, looking after those in need. I soon realized that my impact would be far greater to stay where I was and dedicate myself through my music to raising awareness and funds so that organizations like Love146 can care for those children properly. I’m not a trained caregiver or aid worker. I’m a musician, a wife and a mother.

From now on, I have pledged to donate as much money as possible through the sale of “Be Still My Soul” to the organizations that are making a difference in the lives of these shattered, broken children, starting with the one I know best; Love146.

From now until the end of August 2011, for every CD of “Be Still My Soul” that is purchased, I will donate $5 to Love146. My initial goal is to raise $10,000 and we can do that by selling just 2,000 CD’s. If you already have a copy, please pass this along to everyone who you think may have a heart for this cause and please consider stopping by Love146.org to learn more about human trafficking, slavery and exploitation.

Thank you so very much for your continuing support. With much love and gratitude,
Abigail

Visit www.abigailzsiga.com to be a part of this life-changing campaign.

]]> Tue, 21 Jun 2011 00:25:00 GMT CEB00AE0FB7D0AA04543003A339C5B8E Why I wanted to record an album of hymns.... http://abigailzsiga.com/blog.cfm?feature=2207920&postid=844882 I’ve been asked a lot lately about my decision to make an album of old hymns. It is, quite simply put, a vast departure from anything I have ever done in the past. How does one go from years of making hands-in-the-air, fist-pumping club anthems to hymns? The simple answer is that everyone evolves and changes and music is a vehicle for expressing who we are at a precise moment in time. I want to reassure my existing fans that they will still be able to get their dose of Abigail on the dance floor, and for those who are fans of “Home...again”, the follow up is definitely on its way. “Be Still My Soul” is my expression of the last few years of my life and where I am right now. This collection of songs all hold special meaning to me. As a musician with a 20 year career it is inevitable that during different phases in my life, as I grow and change, I would be moved, or touched by new and differing experiences. My greatest struggle over the past few years has been watching my Mum dive into the grips of early onset Alzheimer’s disease. She was 59 when she was first diagnosed. Losing my greatest advocate and friend, (even though she is still here physically), has been devastating for me. It left me paralyzed creatively, because how do you put that pain and loss out there and still function each day? As a musician I have the great advantage of being able to channel all of that hurt and pain into my music, if I choose. I could have gone a number of ways – either do nothing (which I did for quite some time!), make an album that was in line with my badly shattered heart, or make something that would remind me each day that there is so much more to this life. That this pain will ultimately pass as long as I am open to letting something else in to help me. It became clear that what I needed was the latter option and that so many of the people around me were in need of the same thing. Each and every one of the hymns that I chose for this album is a story, a trial and a testament to the fact that when we can’t seem to find a way to move beyond our own debilitating human emotions, there is a way forward, and that way is to lean on a power that is greater than we are. They are also reminders of the beauty and majesty that is around us. I really need that in my life right now and I know that I am not alone in that. My faith and spiritual beliefs are generally quiet ones. I don’t ever feel the need to impose them on others. I don’t believe it to be my place to tell anyone what is right and wrong when it comes to one’s experience with God. What I do know is that I am not alone, either in my humanness nor as a spiritual being. So that is why I made an album of hymns. What I hope to have created is a vehicle for each and every listener to connect to their higher power. I want for these songs to open your heart and enable you to move beyond the basic expressions of our human limitations. I grew up singing most of these songs and the rest were introduced to me by a very dear friend. They bring me back to that place of innocence and mystery, when you know there is something more to the words you are singing and your heart is still open enough to feel instead of think. These songs don’t just belong in church. Four walls don’t create healing; opening our hearts does. oor, and for those who are fans of “Home...again”, the follow up is definitely on its way. “Be Still My Soul” is my expression of the last few years of my life and where I am right now.

This collection of songs all hold special meaning to me. As a musician with a 20 year career it is inevitable that during different phases in my life, as I grow and change, I would be moved, or touched by new and differing experiences.

My greatest struggle over the past few years has been watching my Mum dive into the grips of early onset Alzheimer’s disease. She was 59 when she was first diagnosed. Losing my greatest advocate and friend, (even though she is still here physically), has been devastating for me. It left me paralyzed creatively, because how do you put that pain and loss out there and still function each day? As a musician I have the great advantage of being able to channel all of that hurt and pain into my music, if I choose. I could have gone a number of ways – either do nothing (which I did for quite some time!), make an album that was in line with my badly shattered heart, or make something that would remind me each day that there is so much more to this life. That this pain will ultimately pass as long as I am open to letting something else in to help me. It became clear that what I needed was the latter option and that so many of the people around me were in need of the same thing.

Each and every one of the hymns that I chose for this album is a story, a trial and a testament to the fact that when we can’t seem to find a way to move beyond our own debilitating human emotions, there is a way forward, and that way is to lean on a power that is greater than we are. They are also reminders of the beauty and majesty that is around us. I really need that in my life right now and I know that I am not alone in that. My faith and spiritual beliefs are generally quiet ones. I don’t ever feel the need to impose them on others. I don’t believe it to be my place to tell anyone what is right and wrong when it comes to one’s experience with God. What I do know is that I am not alone, either in my humanness nor as a spiritual being.

So that is why I made an album of hymns. What I hope to have created is a vehicle for each and every listener to connect to their higher power. I want for these songs to open your heart and enable you to move beyond the basic expressions of our human limitations. I grew up singing most of these songs and the rest were introduced to me by a very dear friend. They bring me back to that place of innocence and mystery, when you know there is something more to the words you are singing and your heart is still open enough to feel instead of think. These songs don’t just belong in church. Four walls don’t create healing; opening our hearts does.
]]> Sun, 20 Mar 2011 02:56:29 GMT F088D279373A128099B30F71CB81CE31 No chocolates please - we're British! http://abigailzsiga.com/blog.cfm?feature=2207920&postid=819625 $28.6 billion dollars. $28.6 BILLION dollars. No, I’m not misquoting Austin Powers. That’s how much Valentine’s day spending is expected to DROP TO this year. $28.6 billion. Just think about that for a minute. Now think about it in relation to how much of that money is going to be spent on things that end up in the trash, gathering dust on a shelf or worse, plumping out your hips! For many years now I have been actively involved in the fight against Human Trafficking and Exploitation. I work with an amazing organization called Love146. Our mission is to end child sex slavery and exploitation. We will not accept anything less. Human Trafficking now generates approximately $32 billion dollars per year. That’s only 4 billion dollars more than the people of the United States will spend this year on Valentine’s Day. Seriously? What part of that is okay? Now here’s something radical - what if we were to put all of that money into the fight against human trafficking and modern day slavery. Think of the difference we could make if our fund for fighting this crime was as large as the amount generated by it. I don’t know if those figures will make a difference to you but let’s put a few things in perspective. When you open that card, how long do you keep it before you throw it in the trash? When was the last time you really enjoyed the chocolates, or held meaningfully onto that stuffed animal? I’m not asking people to stop expressing their love for one another, I’m simply asking that you take a new look at what it means to truly show love for another human being. I would love nothing more than to see all of that $28 billion become available to the many wonderful organizations who are struggling daily to make enough money to continue the work of rehabilitating children who have been liberated from brothels. Children who are now able to sleep again instead of being raped repeatedly for a few dollars. But what if everyone were to pledge to just halve their Valentine Day spending and donate the other half? That would still give us 14 billion dollars! Think about what we could do. Some interesting statistics: 4 - the age of the youngest girl I met in a Love146 safe home in Cambodia. 2 - that’s how many children are trafficked per minute worldwide. 13 – the average age that girls are prostituted in the United States. 27,000,000 – the amount of human beings currently enslaved around the world today. For this Valentine’s Day, please consider an alternative the habitual offerings that we have been brainwashed by Hallmark into thinking we must give in order to prove our devotion. Here’s something simple you can do - Love146 has some incredible Valentine’s Day e-cards. Now I know you’re thinking I’ve gone mad – how are you going to show up at your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/partners’ door without the flowers? Let me just say this – if you are in a relationship with someone who would get mad at you for choosing to skip the fancy dinner and donate the money to a charity so that you can be a part of the fight against child sex slavery, you need to rethink your relationship. <a target="_new" href="http://www.love146.org"> <a target="_new" href="http://www.love146.org">www.love146.org
That’s how much Valentine’s day spending is expected to DROP TO this year. $28.6 billion. Just think about that for a minute. Now think about it in relation to how much of that money is going to be spent on things that end up in the trash, gathering dust on a shelf or worse, plumping out your hips!

For many years now I have been actively involved in the fight against Human Trafficking and Exploitation. I work with an amazing organization called Love146. Our mission is to end child sex slavery and exploitation. We will not accept anything less.

Human Trafficking now generates approximately $32 billion dollars per year. That’s only 4 billion dollars more than the people of the United States will spend this year on Valentine’s Day. Seriously? What part of that is okay? Now here’s something radical - what if we were to put all of that money into the fight against human trafficking and modern day slavery. Think of the difference we could make if our fund for fighting this crime was as large as the amount generated by it.

I don’t know if those figures will make a difference to you but let’s put a few things in perspective. When you open that card, how long do you keep it before you throw it in the trash? When was the last time you really enjoyed the chocolates, or held meaningfully onto that stuffed animal? I’m not asking people to stop expressing their love for one another, I’m simply asking that you take a new look at what it means to truly show love for another human being.

I would love nothing more than to see all of that $28 billion become available to the many wonderful organizations who are struggling daily to make enough money to continue the work of rehabilitating children who have been liberated from brothels. Children who are now able to sleep again instead of being raped repeatedly for a few dollars. But what if everyone were to pledge to just halve their Valentine Day spending and donate the other half? That would still give us 14 billion dollars! Think about what we could do.

Some interesting statistics:

4 - the age of the youngest girl I met in a Love146 safe home in Cambodia.

2 - that’s how many children are trafficked per minute worldwide.

13 – the average age that girls are prostituted in the United States.

27,000,000 – the amount of human beings currently enslaved around the world today.

For this Valentine’s Day, please consider an alternative the habitual offerings that we have been brainwashed by Hallmark into thinking we must give in order to prove our devotion. Here’s something simple you can do - Love146 has some incredible Valentine’s Day e-cards. Now I know you’re thinking I’ve gone mad – how are you going to show up at your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/partners’ door without the flowers? Let me just say this – if you are in a relationship with someone who would get mad at you for choosing to skip the fancy dinner and donate the money to a charity so that you can be a part of the fight against child sex slavery, you need to rethink your relationship.

www.love146.org

]]> Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:40:00 GMT D97FDB038EC21DF2249DF020E789D45C Active Bottoms! http://abigailzsiga.com/blog.cfm?feature=2207920&postid=819616 Every time I shop for new clothes I am amazed that somebody has yet to invent a decent dressing room light. You’d think that by now someone would have realized it’s a fast track to making a fortune! Think about it – how many more clothes would be sold if it wasn’t so painful to see yourself half naked under those fluorescent lights? Come on lighting designers – do us all a favour! You probably already guessed that I had an interesting shopping trip today – I was looking for some leggings. Nothing fancy, just simple leggings to wear with boots and a sweater, so I picked up a bunch to try on. Most of them were marked as “One Size Fits All”. Looking at the waistband that measured about 6 inches across, I had to ask myself who (or what!) exactly was the “all” these tiny things were supposed to be fitting…. Pygmies? Barbie dolls? I thought they may stretch, but alas, no such luck. Now if I could just figure out what “One Size” is, I’d be really happy. And who coined the phrase “Jeggings”??????? Somebody please slap that person with a wet fish. I did however have a good giggle walking through the section marked “Active Bottoms”. One day I’ll grow up…but not quite yet.
You probably already guessed that I had an interesting shopping trip today – I was looking for some leggings. Nothing fancy, just simple leggings to wear with boots and a sweater, so I picked up a bunch to try on. Most of them were marked as “One Size Fits All”. Looking at the waistband that measured about 6 inches across, I had to ask myself who (or what!) exactly was the “all” these tiny things were supposed to be fitting…. Pygmies? Barbie dolls? I thought they may stretch, but alas, no such luck. Now if I could just figure out what “One Size” is, I’d be really happy. And who coined the phrase “Jeggings”??????? Somebody please slap that person with a wet fish.

I did however have a good giggle walking through the section marked “Active Bottoms”. One day I’ll grow up…but not quite yet.

]]> Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:39:25 GMT CEBA0D486FE5CE260BABDBBD71139FBF Be Still My Soul http://abigailzsiga.com/blog.cfm?feature=2207920&postid=819614 It’s been 5 years since I released my last album “Home…again”. 5 YEARS!!!!!! “What the heck has been happening since then and where is the new music?????”. That’s a very good question. So here’s the scoop…… There is new music on the horizon! Actually, there’s a lot of new music. I started on a follow up album to “Home…again” about 4 years ago but half way through I was stricken by a terrible case of writers block, a very busy toddler and an empty bank account. In case you don’t know – it’s really hard to be creative when you can’t see a way for the fruits of your labor ever to see the light and you spend most of your day wiping someone’s bottom. Did you ever try and write a classic, timeless work of outstanding beauty whilst being interrupted every 5 minutes by “The Wheels On the Bus”???? It just doesn’t work. And the guilt trip. I knew every day that I should be working on my music but the more I worried, the less I could achieve. Finally I reached a point where I just said screw it. I’m moving on, done, finished, no more music, that’s it. The end. For the first time in my life I was wondering what I would be when I grew up. Thankfully though, that phase didn’t last too long. Trying to quit something that is as much a part of you as your own skin? It’s not easy. And it made me really sad. Singing, to me, is like breathing. It’s who I am. I came out of the womb humming a tune, albeit disguised amongst the baby babble but my Mum would tell you I really sounded like Barbra Streisand on helium. I knew every commercial and theme song to all of my favorite shows by the time I was 3 and would drive my brothers crazy because I never ever shut up. A trait which I seem to have passed on to my children…… It was in remembering this that I suddenly realized what I should be doing for my next album. It was a HUGE revelation. Maybe I could just – SING!!! How radical. My mental block was coming from the misguided idea that I had to write, arrange produce and fund everything myself and make it so super smashing that people would be playing my music in 50 years. Being solely responsible for the “product” had stopped being a fun and joyous experience and had become a chore and a drain. I hadn’t just stopped singing I had even stopped listening to music in general. I just couldn’t bear it. I’ve even been known to cry when I heard someone whose music I really liked. It was pathetic and I really should have been beaten about the face and neck with a wet kipper. But what should I sing? Standards, show tunes, ballads? They all have meaning to me and there are so many styles of music that had a hand in shaping me as a singer and musician but there was one idea which I just couldn’t shake, and when I thought about what I loved to sing the most I kept coming back around to the same thing. Hymns. There is something so incredibly calming and peaceful about hymns. And for me this is not so much a statement of my religious or spiritual beliefs, I’ll save that for a later date, but a step toward healing and breaking open that dam that was keeping me creatively walled in. Sometimes the only things that work to bring down the wall is feeling a connection to something greater than oneself. With all of that said, here is my latest offering. My hope for this collection of songs is to reach right into the heart of the listener and connect you to whatever that greater power is in your life. I wish for it to bring great comfort, healing, joy and peace as it has done for me. “Be Still My Soul” will be released just in time for the holidays. You can pre-order your copy today at www.abigailzsiga.com. It’s been 5 years since I released my last album “Home…again”. 5 YEARS!!!!!!

“What the heck has been happening since then and where is the new music?????”. That’s a very good question. So here’s the scoop……

There is new music on the horizon! Actually, there’s a lot of new music. I started on a follow up album to “Home…again” about 4 years ago but half way through I was stricken by a terrible case of writers block, a very busy toddler and an empty bank account. In case you don’t know – it’s really hard to be creative when you can’t see a way for the fruits of your labor ever to see the light and you spend most of your day wiping someone’s bottom. Did you ever try and write a classic, timeless work of outstanding beauty whilst being interrupted every 5 minutes by “The Wheels On the Bus”???? It just doesn’t work.

And the guilt trip. I knew every day that I should be working on my music but the more I worried, the less I could achieve. Finally I reached a point where I just said screw it. I’m moving on, done, finished, no more music, that’s it. The end. For the first time in my life I was wondering what I would be when I grew up. Thankfully though, that phase didn’t last too long. Trying to quit something that is as much a part of you as your own skin? It’s not easy. And it made me really sad. Singing, to me, is like breathing. It’s who I am. I came out of the womb humming a tune, albeit disguised amongst the baby babble but my Mum would tell you I really sounded like Barbra Streisand on helium. I knew every commercial and theme song to all of my favorite shows by the time I was 3 and would drive my brothers crazy because I never ever shut up. A trait which I seem to have passed on to my children……

It was in remembering this that I suddenly realized what I should be doing for my next album. It was a HUGE revelation. Maybe I could just – SING!!! How radical. My mental block was coming from the misguided idea that I had to write, arrange produce and fund everything myself and make it so super smashing that people would be playing my music in 50 years. Being solely responsible for the “product” had stopped being a fun and joyous experience and had become a chore and a drain. I hadn’t just stopped singing I had even stopped listening to music in general. I just couldn’t bear it. I’ve even been known to cry when I heard someone whose music I really liked. It was pathetic and I really should have been beaten about the face and neck with a wet kipper.

But what should I sing? Standards, show tunes, ballads? They all have meaning to me and there are so many styles of music that had a hand in shaping me as a singer and musician but there was one idea which I just couldn’t shake, and when I thought about what I loved to sing the most I kept coming back around to the same thing. Hymns. There is something so incredibly calming and peaceful about hymns. And for me this is not so much a statement of my religious or spiritual beliefs, I’ll save that for a later date, but a step toward healing and breaking open that dam that was keeping me creatively walled in. Sometimes the only things that work to bring down the wall is feeling a connection to something greater than oneself.

With all of that said, here is my latest offering. My hope for this collection of songs is to reach right into the heart of the listener and connect you to whatever that greater power is in your life. I wish for it to bring great comfort, healing, joy and peace as it has done for me.

“Be Still My Soul” will be released just in time for the holidays. You can pre-order your copy today at www.abigailzsiga.com.

]]> Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:37:49 GMT CAC401B01CC94E91625C3F0B79A52B2B